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  • Writer's picturealexispjordan

& When They Talk Behind Your Back, You Look Forward; Not Letting Opinions in the Way of Your Purpose

Updated: Jun 28, 2020

“I don't like these cold, precise, perfect people, who, in order not to speak wrong, never speak at all, and in order not to do wrong, never do anything...” - Henry Ward Beecher

Photography by Debonair Visuals

We’ve manifested and we’ve planned, but now more than ever we need to focus and be conscious of the thoughts we reinforce and the words that we emit. Progress is in the power of the tongue, and you cannot receive reward if you continue to speak on fear and failure. Full transparency, I sat on this post and went back and forth with myself because of how out of season this coat was in May. This, along with other posts to come, are from another time and in some way I’ve hesitated to post because I thought it was so out of place that it caused me to worry about the order and timing and sensitivity around my content. “People are going to look at me crazy, they’re going to think I’m not working, but it’s just a #tbt, but, but...” But...what?

I laughed at myself and realized “girl, just post the picture”. But how many other times have I let the self-doubt and fear of a failed attempt stop me from posting, saying, doing...

So what if “they” talk...

Then I realized, I overthink the things that don’t matter so much I’ve allowed it to creep into the things that matter most.

Admittedly, if you ever wondered what the P in AlexisPJordan stands for, it’s often Perfectionist; I’ve allowed the need for my efforts to be up to my own standards impact my progress so much that these things I want to accomplish often just don’t get done, which hurts more knowing what all I have to offer. (My life coach calls this a purpose cry.)

This “what if” on behalf of others has limited my movement and left nothing but me frustrated with me...frustrated that I couldn’t just get the article perfect three weeks ago when I wanted it up, or two months ago when it was still cold and I should have been working even harder during a pandemic. That I could have, would have, should have,...

It doesn’t matter...

The opinions of others do not and cannot matter more to you than your opinions of you.

What are you so afraid of?

You especially should not reinforce or defend those fears of judgement from others. You can stop allowing others’ being hard on you to add to you already being hard on yourself. The elimination of negative self talk may not be easy, but you can start by not listening to those who you can say without question do not know your story. The best way to negate that self talk is to do what you need to do. If you stand in your power, get the assignment done that you've been sitting on, put out the effort even if it isn't what you hoped the end result would be, you are looking that insecurity in the eye and saying, despite the drama and the doubt and the difficulty, “I did that”. Done is better than perfect. Stop worrying about proving others wrong in their doubt and prove yourself right in your self belief.

& If you tell yourself that the only opinion that matters is your own enough, you’ll start to believe it...

We’re in a challenging time. Let the people enjoy what makes them happy without having to explain or defend themselves. Speak easier to others and speak easier to yourself, we more than deserve the security and peace right now...

This show is not for everyone...and that is okay...

No more looking back to see what others are saying behind it. I’m focused and moving forward in the purpose that I have been called to fulfill. I’ll see you on the other side and in another coat in a later post...<3

Welcome to the Speakeasy...🕰 🥃

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