“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me...” - 2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT
Why are we so afraid to fail publicly?
Have you ever been in a new role, or on a new task at work, and had to learn (the hard way) when errors are made? You get a learning curve to be easy on yourself if you make a mistake getting to know the systems, when to provide the assignment, the necessary tasks and correct steps , and all of the other new details of the workplace.
Even when exploring a new place for the first time, your unfamiliarity may cause you to get lost along the way, but you surely won’t miss the turn the next time because now you know exactly where you’re going. It’s understood that you aren’t familiar with the area, so no fuss necessary if there is a delay in getting to your destination.
Why then, are we so determined to beat ourselves up when venturing into unfamiliar experiences in our personal lives and the path not being as straightforward as we may have hoped? If the “right choice” wasn’t your initial move, was this your first time making this mistake, or do you feel like you “should have known better...”? Why? How could you? Of course indiscretions should be taken seriously, but if the end result varies from the original intention, it is still okay.
If you’ve ever experienced difficulty in aiming toward a destination, one thing to look forward to is recognizing the hurdle the next time it’s occurred, you know how to avoid it. You know what struggle lies ahead again if you go down that road. If you sleep in the extra ten minutes. If you put off that work project until the night before it’s due. If you go back to that toxic ex. Do not punish yourself for your missteps, do not wallow in that self pity and become stagnant. Learn from it and move forward with the confidence that you know better, now, so will do better, now. Combat that self deprecating dialogue with affirming action.
The devil is BUSY on the mission to steal, kill, and destroy; there is a reason why they say an idle mind is his playground. With no action on your wildest dreams, how do you expect them to come to fruition?
Stop being afraid to live your life in full, freely. Tell yourself you’re beautiful, enough to believe it when one of your girlfriends calls you Beautiful. Accept the compliment that someone actually notices your effort. People do not have to tip toe around a complimentary remark as if it is a ticking time bomb to explode the truths about how they really feel behind your back. You are absolutely intelligent, and overly capable, and Ultimate approved to be made in His image. This is not just about physical but your internal, your individuality, your personal version of a child of God. If He would not speak down to you, why would you choose to speak down on His valuable creation? Put here to fulfill her Kingdom purpose. Why would you even play with Him like that? You know that He does not play about you...
Feel the freedom to know that you are supported in every time you fall. Fail knowing that your sins are forgiven by His grace. Extend grace to yourself for your lessons learned. Flip the focal point to the obvious positive: You learned better... and in the words of our dearly Beloved Maya Angelou, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better...“.
Instead of being embarrassed, feel relief, you learned the lesson, you saw the result, you know better, now you can do better. You can be better than that. You have the next chance to show that you are better than that. Thank God. You affirm yourself through action to show the live-in-color version that you did do better. And keep going in this continuous path of excellence...
I knock out articles on a daily in my head, but I didn’t know how to prioritize my time to work on my craft, learn my new role, be in a new environment in quarantine, and still carry forth the normal upkeep of the house and myself. All I wanted for Christmas was time management skills.
I had to pray hard for me to see the victory with this one. I remembered how by the book I was when I was in my undergrad because I loved to have fun and I was serious about my career, and even more determined to earn my degree because I knew what it meant on the other side of that diploma. No more top ramen for breakfast/lunch/and dinner (true story for another day). I could afford the apartment that I could be proud to invite my friends over, after never having my own or having the comfort of doing so freely. Those fancy dresses I would “one day” wear to the bougiest of restaurants I would “one day” go, I can not only afford the dresses and the meals, but now I have options, and will treat myself like it's no one's business. I prayed for this. And then it doubled...tripled... and continued to grow...all in the season it was supposed to after tending to my dreams and carefully planning it’s roll out. I could see the finish line and I was too close to not give it my all and get it as soon as possible.
So, I did...
I applied the same principles to identify the common pitfalls faced when attempting to reach the goal of getting to my destination at the agreed upon time. I no longer had to be met with the anxiety of being "late" to my event because I was well prepared. I backed into what time I needed to start getting ready from the amount of time it takes me to get there, determined by the distance, the estimated time to find parking and pay, the time to stop and get gas or the gift, to find and fill out the card. I would tell myself, "No wonder you’re the last one to arrive, you had no plan to get there in consideration other than you getting dressed alone." Next time you’re heading to an event, really document your starting time vs. your arrival time. Identify the places where you had to detour, and establish a plan for the next time so that you can do better. You’re a creative, yes flowers are a great addition for the collab but you need the time to get them the day of so that they won’t wilt. This needs to be factored into the fact that people are waiting for you... and not just for your event attendance...They are waiting for you to arrive with your gifts, Beauty...
It’s time to show up. Time management ties directly back to the articles on goal setting in our Rosé & Rose Goals issue, as well as in Speakeasy’s Five Convos to Have with Yourself. If you have a plan to leave your job in three years, what is your exit strategy? Are you saving or just praying the business you have yet to promote will be enough to survive on? As if we knew COVID would affect our new decade. Now that we can see the necessary precautions to ensure a profitable business are different in unimaginable ways, we need to have a prepared plan in case another time unlike another comes again. Be reassured in your personal insurance plan over your purpose. You are allowed to request Divine guidance...
You ask and it will be given. Pray, fast if you want to truly focus on your healing of your wounded mindset to accept that the future He has for you is attainable, and believe that He saw you fit to carry it forward. Take the steps, he will meet you at the very first one...
& If you fail, fail Fervently, fail Fabulously, fail Faithfully...Fail knowing that the Father will never give you more than you can bear. This includes your dreams girl. He’s got you.
Take the first step, and He will follow up by leading you. Be obedient enough to fall in suit and follow up by fulfilling your Purpose. Feel this...it will happen when you move, it really is for you. The worst decision is to completely halt action altogether out of fear of making mistakes, or looking foolish in your attempts to build the dream.
Be fearless enough to fail, and learn from the lesson that failure teaches you. We fall down, but we will forever get up...
Accept the journey...be easy with yourself, this is your Grace period...
He loves you...
Journal Prompt...
This would actually be a great journal entry for times when you feel unfit due to a mistake. Explain to your future self what just happened that made you feel off track from fulfillment. Follow up with the follow through and report your feedback at a later date to tell yourself how it went. Free the space in your mind by writing it out through your desired medium. But make sure you date it to measure just how far you’ve come from the negative self comments. You can let your shoulders fall knowing that you are covered.
My Prayer for You...
Pray this aloud , every time you doubt yourself, and need that reminder that you are a child of God, and in the words of our Beloved Marianne Williamson, "you playing small does not serve the world...". Diminishing your light does nothing for you or those you were put on this earth to impact.
Father, thank You for Your Divine guidance as I continue this journey of fulfilling my Kingdom Purpose. I believe that You have blessed me with a unique set of gifts meant to spread Your word. Father I pray that You continue to order my steps to expand my impact and that I am reminded to consult with You through everything. I pray that my gifts will provide the solutions needed for so many. I pray for abundant creativity as I share my talents with the world. I pray that I remain confident in Your plans for me and that I remain encouraged to put my faith in You over any fear that creeps into my thoughts. I know that You are with me, and with You I will not fail…
Thank You Father for loving me and creating me so wonderfully and perfectly...
I want to be found working. I want to be found trying. I do not want to sit on another thought. I want to be found moving in my Purpose…
Amen...
Speak Freely...
BTW, thank you ladies SO much for joining me on live on Tuesday, January 4, 2022 in getting this message out to you all. It meant the world to know there are so many of us in this journey together. I'm praying for us. Catch the replay, and let me know how you are declaring faith over any fear that tries it this year and forward !
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