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  • Writer's picturealexispjordan

I am Allowed to be a Work in Progress, I Will Do it Afraid…

Getting past the fear of firsts to fully fuel your passions…


“Only one thing registers on the subconscious mind: repetitive application - practice. What you practice is what you manifest…” - Fay Weldon


Isn’t it funny how that voice in the back of your mind tries to talk you out of opportunities to grow…


Like ma’am, be greater, not a hater…


I think a lot of the reasons why we fail to start things that we believe will be huge leaps toward our complete, happy selves is the fear of new. The fear of the unknown, and all of the time and the responsibility that comes with it. Often we won’t even take the next step even though He’s given us the instructions; It’s the fear of firsts…


It does not matter how much excitement there is in getting somewhere if the fear is going to take the driver seat. Excitement being influenced by that fear can very quickly go from happy anticipation to regretful anxiety. But why?



I know I’m bomb.


I know I have a message that millions of women of color need to hear. I have work that needs to be seen to let them know that they can have this too. I know how powerful my voice is and how so many verbally confirm that my words of encouragement feed their confidence, why was it so hard to find my own when presented with something new and the opportunity to grow?

Girl...


Impostor syndrome tried it…

Harvard Business Review will state it as:


"Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. Many question whether they’re deserving of accolades..."



Trust me, you deserve, you are capable, and you are right where you are supposed to be…







You are ready.


Public speaking, going live, meeting new people and networking, while valid fears, should not be the most terrifying things when you’re attempting to build a brand. If you are going to be the spokeswoman for yourself and your primary advocate, you will need to build that woman who brings crowds to hear her words. But she will not emerge overnight, nor will she be the complete version amongst the first execution. You of course need that practice and that repetition of action to be comfortable and confident in your abilities. And to get there, you have to start somewhere.


The best fight against believing you cannot do something, is to do it…


Despite being at an all time excited and nervous, I was welcomed as the keynote speaker for the highly anticipated launch of Instagram Queen, @iamjallure’s new sunglasses brand, Noirceur, which was specifically designed for people of color and created to appropriately fit our bone structure in our faces and noses.









Juliet is such a gem and is always bold and beautiful in living her best life, whether in her many travels, or as she aids women in building their brands and providing ideas and guidance for content. She goes live multiple times in the week with no fear of how her voice may sound or how she may look in front of her audience. She just does it, and delivers a clear and concise message every single time.

“How could little ole me live up to inspire a group that follows her…”





I did it…


We are not given a spirit of timidity, but of love, power, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7, NLT). I know the word, but when challenged with the fear of mediocrity, there are two choices that are available to be made. Drop everything and stay as far away from it as possible until that “one day” version of myself takes the lead and emerges, or work to create that “one day” version of myself and push past that fear and do what would make me proud of me.




I chose the latter…


I needed to know what I was talking about…in order to be comfortable talking about it…


A lot of fear comes from a lack of preparation. I want to know what I’m speaking on, and I want to look the part of knowing what I’m talking about. That impostor syndrome shows itself when you don't feel like you play the part, but why wouldn't I? I knew how to encourage women for as long as I can remember, why would I feel like now I'm incapable? For weeks I read, I studied, I consumed so much content to aid me in the message that I wanted to give, that in turn I taught myself the very lesson that my speech during her launch was meant to inspire others with. If I wanted to live my best life, I needed to get intentional.


Failing to plan is planning to fail, but you knew that already...


I knew I wanted to have key points to my speech, so I needed to map out my plan. I knew the overall message but needed the key notes to stick to. This was not an event I wanted to wing it, I wanted to come with the full authority and power to propel the women and men in attendance forward in their lives. If I give an unprepared message, who am I inspiring? And if that is my “fear”, then I can combat that by preparing, and implementing all that studying. There is no value in having the knowledge if you won't share it with those who need it.







I’m a fan of only following accounts that can teach and inspire, and of course, as a huge fan of quotes, in my daily scrolling I often will find a meme or two that hits different. While these words are not law, we are entering a time where there aren’t the same Big Mommas giving guidance and wisdom, and not as many who are willing to hear from them. We get a lot of our life advice through our friends in person as well as online, and in part live our lives through the quick, straight-to-the-point messages given in memes. I’ll listen to sermons and podcasts and Ted-Talks all day, of course, but these three particular memes have always stuck with me, and were the theme of my speech titled, Ma Vue est Magnifique…




My View is Beautiful…



God Would Not Have Given You the Vision if He Did Not Know That You Could Carry It Out…


Isn’t the fact that you are a God-fearing woman enough? Isn’t the fact that He has not done you wrong before enough? And in all the struggles faced and conquered, would you truly believe that He wouldn’t perform the miracle of taking it from one extreme to the other to fulfill the abundance He promised? Come on.





If You Can Desire It, You Deserve It…


I read this one from BlkGirlDaily and it immediately spoke to me. The fact that this particular something has found its way to me, to have been made aware of it’s presence is being made aware of its availability. Remember when Suzie and I went to the Hampton’s and came home super inspired? Because I know my faves who got it out the mud, some from much less than what I was given, and this is ONE of their homes. This could be me, too…


Why would I limit myself in believing He would bless someone else and I can’t have that too? If I want it, I can attain it, and the fact that it has crossed my radar shows that it is on my level.

Visualize Your Highest Self, Then, Start Showing Up as Her…


Oooh, this is the one…


But what does this mean?


It means actually being the woman you say you want to be…by putting forth the action to be the woman you want to be…



It means doing all of those things you don’t “feel” like doing. It looks like being the woman you have the energy to show yourself as online, but in real life. It doesn’t mean all the time, but the more frequent you create these patterns, the more they become habit. It’s feeling that sense of self-accomplishment on a consistent basis because you’ve been putting in the actual work and not simply “thinking” about it.


I spoke on this word and provided a guided exercise on visualizing the life you want to live and then breaking it down to consider how you can actually get to that life. If you want to be a big Boss Lady in your field, you have to get to know your field. Studying, getting certified, the education, the brunt work, all of that are steps to get you there, but again, you have to start.


I’ve been extremely fortunate to come from the struggles I’ve had, because they forced me to consider my only ways out. I knew the only way out was with meticulous planning and big effort. Between my undergrad, my grad degree, horrific jobs, and all of the personal obstacles that presented, I was determined. It was the drive for me…and it got me to my dream job while working on my dream endeavors. Why would I stop at being nervous? I don’t stop when it’s time to push forward, nor when it’s time to try again. It’s the tenacity for me. But I had to start…


Today, take a moment to actually visualize the life you want. Do you want a multi bedroom home in the suburbs, or a penthouse overlooking the city? What can you see from your balcony? How do your mornings start, with the perfect cup of coffee, tea, or even an infused water?


What are the traits that your highest self has? How can you get to them? What do you need to let go of in order for you to be that person?


What do you do when work gets tough? How do you treat yourself? You work hard, what does your self care look like? Is it just bubble baths? What can you do to make you feel good in your leisure time? Do you have a practice put in place?


I can’t wait to _________…fill in the blank.



You know auntie Maya Angelou said it best: ”Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it…”, are you prepared, preparing, or just “planning”?


Let’s get to these steps girl…You’re waiting on you…



& If you are not representing yourself in the way that you want to be represented, how can you change that?


Your highest self is today, in this moment, at this exact time you are at your highest self, you do not need an excuse to make the life you want the life that you have. You are able, you are capable, and you are ready. So what are you waiting for?




Get out there, and get fearless. The first time doing anything is never going to be perfect, my father always said “There’s always room for improvement”. I know that in order for something to be refined, there has to be something there to work with. One day’s are the equivalent of “exposure”, it’s a great thought but unless there’s action behind it, it isn’t going anywhere.


All you have to do to be the person you want to be, is be the person you want to be…


And I am rooting for you, Beautiful...




Also imagine the joy I felt in seeing how spectacular the decor for this picnic was?! It was literally the perfect representation of Black women living in luxury and their best lives, Juliet is not only a bombshell in Beauty and brand development, but also a talent in decor.





Her vision inspired me, I can't wait to host you ladies in a picnic of our own...


Stay tuned...


In the meantime, you can find my last few speaking engagements posted on the following:


@BourgeoisLiving Ma Vue Est Magnifique - @NoirceurOfficial Guided Manifestation Meditation



@BourgeoisLiving Queen Conversations with @IndiaSagetheBrand - Motherland Campaign - Maternal Mental Health & Black Beauty with @SageHouseCosmetics




You can visit me at @BourgeoisLiving to see my other Lives I had the courage to share now that I've faced my fear of firsts in public speaking to my own online audience. I'm so glad I pushed past that fear to live free of failure. It was the best decision for my brand and my future I've made to date, and I have no regrets in my decision. I encourage you to do the same...


Speak Freely...



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