"Talk about it only enough to do it. Dream about it only enough to feel it. Think about it only enough to understand it. Contemplate it only enough to be it..." - Jean Toomer
We always talk about “relationship goals” with our partners, but can we normalize more friendship relationships goals outside of traveling girlfriend posts? I have a team that I can travel with, and they are such an inspiring group aside from that fact and their careers (although they are all at the top of their class and still going, okay! 👏🏾), I have some of the most genuine, God-fearing, talented, funny, impactful, intelligent, practical, goal-oriented self-starters in my circle. They say God shows you how much He loves you by those He puts in your life, and it is evident that He does not play about this daughter. We know each other’s strengths, recommending resources and opportunities when they come up, and work as a partnership to hold eachother accountable in our areas that can use improvement with constructive, but loving, criticism. We provide suggestions in life and brand development without putting down any original ideas and we only critique with a plan to elevate together. We edify each other consistently on a personal and professional level. They are my family.
The longest standing play cousin is my godsister turned sister in life. You talk about a ride or die; Growing up and having the lacks that we both experienced separately while overcoming them together, we have shared a lifetime of pushing forward and not settling for mediocre, we have lived in abundance for real. We’ve been on family trips as kids which has grown to friends’ and couples’ trips as adults, but we never have gone on just a sister-cousin’s trip alone, and thanks to an impromptu, affordable, weekend getaway to the Hamptons, we’ve been able to accomplish this goal and then some.
The Hamptons was nothing I could have e v e r imagined. The food, the wine, the people, all incomparable to anything I’ve experienced in my entire (almost) 30 years of life. Homes that looked like schools, grocery stores were bougie markets with REAL bananas (I’ve never seen a REAL, non-gmo banana, they are TINY and adorable!), and views for daysss. It was the first time I went away and felt completely accepted in every restaurant, gas station, store and didn’t have the thought of a diminished level of service because I was a black woman in a white neighborhood, or that if I looked over my shoulder that someone would be watching my every move since I didn't look like I "belonged". We were treated with such consideration in every moment and the people of the Hamptons proved to us that once you get to a certain place of luxury in life, you let people live their lives in peace. I’m trying to get to the level of success where I don’t have a care in the world if two black girls block the street trying to back out of the driveway and I’ll let them take their time to figure it out (seriously, we took our TIME with not so much as a horn beep). I was inspired by the success but more so by the patience and kindness of the people. These are the life goals we talk about when we see the vision of our hoop dreams being made a reality.
In being in the Hamptons, of course we had to live like the locals. Dinner on the bay was lovely, with the night lights reflecting off of the water being the perfect pair with our cocktails and appetizers. The following day, we went to the most adorable winery and were treated with so much respect we were the celebrated guests of the evening (and almost watched an unruly and terribly uncouth family get kicked out on our behalf, like who brings children to a vineyard?). As a child, my mom was adamant in teaching culture in experiences, and thankfully we knew exactly how to conduct ourselves despite this being a new environment, and the whole trip we could not stop talking about how much our ladies would love this. My mother is the driving factor of my love for hosting and all things upscale. One of my favorite memories growing up was Momma Bourgeois introducing me to caviar. She found the $12 jars from our local grocery store and made it the most elegant tasting experience (seriously, my sweet 16 was a Champagne Wishes & Caviar Dreams theme with sparkling cider and the complete caviar tasting display for my friends to try for the first time, she is clearly where I get my love for introducing guests to something new). She set it up with all of the appropriate accoutrements, and I loved it so much I used to ask for it as an after school snack, and when we could afford it, she’d have it waiting for me. She used to serve:
White Toast Points (white bread, toasted, cut in 4 triangles)
Hard Boiled Eggs (whites and yolks chopped and mixed)
Green Onion (chopped, some white included)
Sour Cream
It was my favorite thing to have. The caviar is a subtle, fishy, salty, mini ball that pops in your mouth with the lightest pressure, and paired with all of these additions placed on the toasted bread was the perfect combination. If there was ever a moment to pay homage to Momma B, this was it.
In the Hamptons, there was no $12 caviar (DEFINITELY not $12, chile!), but the increase in price was amazing to experience having known the less expensive option to compare this to. My sister and I modified the menu slightly to do as the locals do (only swapping the toast points for blinis, which I prefer toast points truthfully), and additionally served the following:
Everything and Plain Bagels (Toasted)
Pastrami Style Smoked Salmon
Onions (We used white but feel free to use red)
Cream Cheese
Capers
Dill
We paired with some Veuve Clicquot (funny enough I’ve been pronouncing this as Voove, but from a quick peak at their insta, it’s pronounced Vove like love, and cleek - koh , once you know better, you do better), which was the ultimate treat for a night in discussing champagne wishes and caviar dreams. We made this happen through all of our efforts to get out of our situations financially and in our continued pursuit of growing into successful young women, we deserved to treat ourselves with this level of abundance for a weekend. We work hard, we needed to play hard, and we did just that.
Bourgeois Living was created to encourage and inspire women of color to access a life of luxury where they are now, not one day, not someday, but right now, because we deserve it. Abundance is our birthright. The Hamptons not only taught me that this is all accessible in our lifetime, whether as a guest or a homeowner, but through effort and faith, this is possible even for me. I know I personally have ideas in my notes that can get me multiple of these million dollar properties, and my friends have the talent and drive to do so too. We felt so much inspiration driving the beach and seeing literal acres of estates and all glass mansions within miles of homeowners like Beyonce and Martha Stewart, we couldn’t sit on these ideas a second longer. This trip we shared every dream and aspiration that has always been too taboo to talk about out loud from fear that it wouldn’t come to fruition (we talked about this in our Vision Board Brunch in the Rose’ and Rose Goals issue). We talked about our goals for our brands, our future families, the fears from our past holding us back. We encouraged, we shared accountability practices, we created an entire plan for our path of an expert in excellence. We were ready to do the work for the lives we desired, and made a pact; We cannot stop until we see it.
Friend’s trips are always a gift, and you know my forever goal is to spend more time creating memories with the ones I love. I never realized how imperative it was to take the time to change your environment and challenge yourself to go somewhere you’ve never thought you could go before, the results may be life changing. If you have a friend turned family that you trust with your life forever and is your own #foreverlight, keep an eye out for crazy drops in prices of Air BNB’s, and keep a few dollars on standby to take the impromptu trip. There are no limits to what we are capable of achieving. If you need help budgeting, check out the Manifestin’ Money ! 2020 Savings Goals & How to Save for the Life You Desire article from our Rose’ & Rose Goals issue. You just may be able to afford a trip (or a down payment) to the Hamptons and not even know it <3
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